


Do Over

by 16woodsequ



Series: Steve Rogers Has PTSD [6]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Disordered Eating, Medical Trauma, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Protective Tony Stark, SHIELD, SHIELD's A+ Parenting, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Has Issues, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tahiti (Agents of SHIELD), Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/16woodsequ/pseuds/16woodsequ
Summary: "T.A.H.I.T.I. was designed to revive a fallen Avenger. That's how it got started."Or, Tony is doing his best to live his life and settle down after the whole AIM thing...and then Steve Rogers shows up at his door, as prickly and uptight as always. Beyond that though... something just seems... off with him, something Tony can't quite put his finger on.And, you know, the fact that he and SHIELD are no longer on speaking terms is kind of a red flag.
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Series: Steve Rogers Has PTSD [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124492
Comments: 35
Kudos: 204
Collections: Genuary 2021





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU, but it's set between Iron Man 3 and Captain America: Winter Soldier.
> 
> I originally wrote this as one long oneshot, but I've decided now to divide it up into more manageable chapters.

After the Battle of New York, Tony offers the Tower to the Avengers. He figures that he might as well, since he’s rebuilding it _anyways_ , and if they are going to be a team, then they need a team base, right?

The other Avengers don’t seem to think so though, because none of them end up accepting his invitation.

Which is fine. They all have things to do after all. Thor goes back to space for a while, and Bruce wants to get out from under SHIELD’s thumb (which Tony could have totally done for him, and given him a lab too, but that’s neither here nor there), and Clint and Natasha both have shady spy work to do, and Steve tells him SHIELD is moving him to D.C.

And that’s all fine, really. Tony has other things to do, like having a mental breakdown, challenging a terrorist to a grudge match, and getting his arc reactor removed. Honestly, it’s probably a good thing that the Avengers are more or less disbanded, he has other things to concentrate on.

Including a therapist that Pepper basically twists his arm into seeing. (He’ll never admit to her that his sessions are eventually helpful, once he starts actually accepting them, but he thinks she knows.) He moves back to New York after that, because he can actually stand living in the Tower again, and then, like some kind of cosmic reward for good behaviour, Bruce shows up one day, standing awkwardly on the lobby security feed and fidgeting.

He had apparently seen what had happened with AIM on the news, and decided to check on him while he had been in the area. (Tony will never admit how touched the gesture actually makes him feel) and after Tony had thoroughly bored him with all the details, he had picked his brain, and managed to get a promise out of him to stay at least part-time in the Tower. Bruce, of course, still has a life to live outside the Tower, but Tony had just so happened to build guest rooms _anyway_ , so really, Bruce might as well have somewhere safe to settle whenever he’s in the States.

And he does. He isn’t always in, but he’s in _enough_ , and he’s willing to indulge Tony’s science side, which is always a plus, and he seems to stick around longer, the closer they get together. Of course, at this point, Bruce is really the only other Avenger that Tony expects to get into the Tower with him, but at least _one_ of the guest rooms is full now, and that’s good.

And then Steve Rogers shows up at his door.

“He’s what?” He blinks, staring at the projection of a security feed that JARVIS brings up for him in his lab, his hands pausing over his most recent project.

“He’s in the lobby, Sir,” JARVIS repeats, although Tony can clearly _see_ that. Captain Steven Rogers, standing at attention in an out-of-the-way corner of his lobby, waiting for Tony to decide what to do with him. “Should I let him up, Sir?” JARVIS asks, and Tony sits up, blinking a few times as he tries to restart his brain, his mind still a little shocked at the unexpected sight of America’s favourite war hero showing up unannounced in his Tower.

“No… I’ll go down and see what he wants first,” he decides, standing up from his workbench and making his way to the elevator just outside his labs. As he steps into the lift, and JARVIS starts bringing him up, he can’t help wondering what the Captain could possibly want from him. He hadn’t seen much of Steve since the man had joined SHIELD and moved away from D.C.

Well, he hadn’t exactly seen Steve in _person_. But a few months ago, his newsfeeds had blown up with a mission-gone-wrong that the Captain had been involved with in Italy. He doesn’t really know all the details— there had been some kind of evil genius/madman, but SHIELD hadn’t felt the need to call him in, so,— but he’d definitely noticed how the mission had almost ended in disaster.

According to the news, the villain had been thwarted at the last second, but Steve had been _severely_ injured, enough that there had actually been speculations and rumours flying around about his _death_. It hadn’t helped much that after that battle, Steve had essentially disappeared, showing up for exactly zero public appearances, and seemingly zero missions as well, in the last few months.

And now here he is, standing in Tony’s lobby.

Honestly, the whole situation is a little weird, and he doesn’t know what he’s expecting when JARVIS finally lets him off and he steps out into the lobby of Stark Tower. The bottom half of the Tower is for SI staff, so the entryway is abuzz with employees making their way to, and from work, but Steve seems to have chosen a strategically quiet corner by the security desk, and Tony makes it over with minimal trouble.

“Cap!” He says as he approaches, putting a smile on his face to cover the strangeness of the situation. “Good to see you’re still breathing. Last I heard, people weren’t exactly sure.”

Steve doesn’t smile back at him, and Tony inwardly groans as he remembers how uptight the man can be. He’d hoped that he might have relaxed a bit after a few months of living in the twenty-first century, but apparently not.

In front of him, Steve breathes in and seems to make a conscious effort to relax, his hands unclasping from behind his back and moving down to rest by his sides. “I heard something similar about you a little while ago,” he says, his eyes glancing over Tony. “It’s good to see you’re well.”

Tony waves a hand, not exactly wanting to be reminded about his run-in with AIM. “Yeah, well.” He brings up another smile. “What can I say? I’m a hard one to kill.” Across from him, Steve’s lips press into a weird sort of thin smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and Tony shoves his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels as he tries to ignore the awkward tension in the air. “Can I do something for you?” he asks. “Or are you just here for a little sight-seeing?”

Steve’s expression flickers for a moment and he actually looks down, something that looks _suspiciously_ like uncertainty flashing over his face before he seems to pull himself back together and clench his jaw. “I know this is a little sudden,” he says, his arms stiff at his sides. “But…” His lips press together and Tony’s shoulder’s almost ache in sympathy at how tight he’s holding himself. “You once offered a place here at the Tower,” he continues determinedly. “I was wondering if that is still an option.”

Tony is actually stunned into silence for three whole seconds at the unexpected request, his mouth slightly open as he stares at Steve and processes what he’d just heard. And then, his brain reboots, and he regains the power of speech. “Well. You could’ve at least called ahead,” he jokes, except Steve winces, and the joke falls flat. “’Course, that really isn’t a problem,” he rushes to reassure, letting out a dry laugh. “The whole top part of this Tower is empty rooms, I’m sure we can find you something.”

Steve relaxes slightly and Tony takes a breath of relief. “Thank you,” Steve says, seemingly genuinely relieved, before he shifts, uncomfortable again. “I just need a place until I get settled,” he says, his jaw clenching as he speaks. “I don’t know exactly how long— but I’ll pay rent for however long—”

“Oh geez, no,” Tony cuts him off immediately with a wave of his hand, causing Steve to draw back slightly. “Do I look like a guy who needs rent money, Cap? The Tower is free of charge.” Steve’s brows twitch downwards at that, and Tony drags a wide smile onto his face. “I insist,” he says, before Steve can say anything, and he takes a little satisfaction in seeing the man back down a little.

To be honest, he’s not exactly sure _why_ Steve suddenly wants to take up residency in the Tower, and the idea is a little more uncomfortable than he’d first thought it would be… but he _had_ offered, and he’s not about to slam the metaphorical door in Steve’s face before he even knows _why_ the man is apartment-hunting.

In front of him, Steve breathes in and somehow manages to square his shoulders even more than they already are. “My bike is out front,” he says. “I wasn’t sure where to park it.”

“Oh, right.” Tony gives a one-shouldered shrug. “There’s a garage out back,” he says, pulling out his phone and bringing up a map of the Tower, JARVIS conveniently highlighting the route the Captain will need to take to get inside. “JARVIS— he’s my computer AI, he runs the Tower— will open the door for you when you get close.”

Steve scans the map, before darting his eyes warily around at the news of JARVIS’ presence, before he nods stiffly. Tony offers him a strained smile at that, and pockets his phone, rubbing his hands together. “I guess I’ll meet you in the garage,” he says as lightly as possible, groaning internally at how awkward the Captain seems to be able to make everything. “I’ll show you around and we can arrange to get your stuff here,” he continues. “Our guest rooms are a little impersonal, but you should be able to move in whenever you’re ready.”

Steve nods again, his shoulders seeming to drop several inches. “Thanks,” he says again. “If I can move in tonight, then that would be great.”

Tony, of course, reassures him that that is fine, before seeing him off and turning towards the elevator, wondering the entire trip down to the garage why Captain America would need to move so suddenly to _anywhere_.

 _Did he have somewhere to go if this happened not to pan out?_ he wonders absentmindedly as the elevator lowers. There is no way Steve would have shown up without _some_ kind of backup plan, right? If anything, SHIELD probably has some empty apartments he could crash at, right?

Although, really, why Steve wants to move in here, and isn’t staying in his D.C. apartment, Tony can’t even begin to guess.

Either way, he gets to the garage a few minutes before the Captain, and he waits by the elevator as the man pulls in, parking his bike expertly in an empty spot nearby. The back of the bike is already loaded, and Tony watches silently as Steve dismounts and begins unpacking. There isn’t much space on the bike, so all he really has room for is a duffel bag and a cardboard box, but he swings the bag on with ease and holds the box under one arm, leaving his helmet with the bike before finally turning to Tony.

“Great,” Tony says, gesturing towards the elevator and eyeing the box, a part of him realising with a start that the Captain really _had_ been intending to move in somewhere tonight. “We can get you settled somewhere and bring in the rest of your stuff later,” he explains as JARVIS opens the elevator doors and they step in.

Steve shifts the box so that it’s in front of him, and his fingers tighten slightly around it as he steps inside the elevator and settles next to Tony. “That won’t be necessary,” he says, (and Tony has to hold back an eyeroll at the stiff language). He shrugs, lifting up the box a little. “I have everything right here.”

Tony actually stops at that, rendered speechless for a _second_ time that day as he turns to sweep his eyes over Steve, trying to come to terms with what he’d just said. “That’s… all your stuff,” he confirms, and Steve’s jaw tightens.

“Yes,” he says stiffly, his eyes on the flickering numbers of the elevator control panel. He shifts and seems to hug the box a little closer. “I left the stuff that came with SHIELD’s apartment. This is what’s mine.”

Tony skates his eyes skeptically over the small haul and decides that it’s probably a good thing that the guest rooms are fully outfitted. “Alright then,” he says slowly, his eyes on Steve. “And… you left SHIELD’s apartment and came here… for a vacation?” he guesses. “Or did you decide you just couldn’t live without New York’s unique air quality? _Or–_ ” He tries to grin at him. “Maybe… you somehow managed to piss somebody off, and now need somewhere to lay low?”

If possible, Steve grows stiffer than he’d been this whole time, and his fingers dent slightly into the cardboard box in his hands. “Actually, I’ve—” His eyes dart down to glance at Tony for a second before flicking away again. “I’ve left SHIELD. For the time being.” His words drag out of him like chips off an ice block, and his eyes remain fixed on the elevator doors, letting Tony know that the current subject is _not_ a pleasant one.

“Oh,” he says intelligently. “Well. Alright then.”

Steve nods, and they stand in silence for the rest of the elevator ride.

Thankfully, they are almost at their destination, and JARVIS soon lets them off. “So, this is the common room,” Tony explains as they step out, internally grateful for something neutral to talk about. “It’s open to everybody staying here, so you can come up any time.”

Steve’s eyes flick over the open floor plan, the large kitchen on one side, and the living room and entertainment-centre setup on the other. For his part, Tony finds himself rambling. “Bruce actually lives here too sometimes,” he says, his hands waving as he talks. “He’s away right now, doing charity work in Haiti or something. They had an earthquake a few years ago.”

Steve nods absentmindedly at his words, before he looks back at him. “This is a nice place,” he says mildly, and Tony has to glance over him to check to see if he’s mocking him or making a jab at his wealth, but Steve’s eyes seem to… linger over the room as he watches, and he ends up doubting that possibility.

“Yes, well,” he clears his throat, swinging his arms. “Like I said, open any time.” He takes a step back towards the elevator. “Now, if you want, JARVIS can take us to one of the guest rooms. Do you have any preferences?”

“No,” Steve says immediately, turning back towards the elevator. “Anything is fine.”

 _Okaay_ , Tony thinks, resisting the urge to puff out his cheeks and blow out a gust of air. He’d forgotten how uptight and stiff Steve could be, and the weird circumstances around his arrival in the Tower aren't helping anything. “Cool,” he says, trying to keep his voice light. “We’ll put you one floor down from the common room then.” He glances up at Steve. “I have a room here too, but I spend most of my time in my labs. I installed a gym in here though. JARVIS can show you the floor if you’re interested.”

Steve nods again before he seems to blink and twist towards him, his lips pressing into the same thin smile from before. “That sounds nice,” he says evenly, and Tony gets the sudden eerie impression of a robot, shuffling through all of its social protocols and checking off boxes— out of necessity, rather than desire. 

The sensation is _not_ a pleasant one, but thankfully, the elevator stops almost immediately afterwards, and JARVIS opens the doors, giving Tony a chance to escape and put some distance between them. “Alright,” he says, stepping up to the first door in the hallway. There are a few more guest rooms along the hall, but he’s pretty sure Steve really doesn’t care which one he chooses, and he really wants to get this over with as soon as possible.

“Place your hand on the scanner here–” He indicates a small panel by the door. “–and it will be coded to you. Not that you should worry about intruders, JARVIS has that handled.” He presses his lips up into what he hopes is a cheerful smile and rubs his hands together. “If you need anything, ask JARVIS. Otherwise… I can let you get settled in.” He edges backwards slightly, ready to head towards the elevator and retreat back to his labs. But, as he moves, Steve’s eyes seem to dart around and land back on him a little desperately.

“How… how do I call JARVIS?” he asks uncertainly, and Tony only _just_ resists slapping a hand to his forehead at his oversight.

“Oh JARVIS is a computer, programmed to keep an eye on the Tower,” he chatters quickly, waving his hands. “So he has sensors and stuff pretty much anywhere. Just call him like this.” He breathes in finally and sets his shoulders. “JARVIS?”

“Hello, Sir,” JARVIS replies instantly, and Tony tries not to grin at how the Captain’s eyes widen and jump instinctively towards the ceiling. “Hello Captain,” JARVIS continues. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance. Please let me know if there is anything you require.”

Steve swallows and nods mutely, before dropping his gaze back to Tony and breathing in evenly. “This… JARVIS,” he begins slowly. “You said he has… cameras everywhere?”

Tony shakes his head, knowing immediately what train of logic the Captain is following. “ _Technically_ he does,” he says, before rushing to reassure Steve. “But even _I_ don’t have access to footage from anywhere private.” He gestures at the door beside Steve. “JARVIS can’t reveal anything personal about someone without permission, unless their life or health is threatened.”

Steve seems to relax at that, and Tony finally takes off, leaving the Captain to get settled, fully intending to bury himself in his lab for the next few hours. Hopefully the inner wiring of his left thruster can help him forget how awkward the last thirty minutes have been.

oOo

And that is the last he sees of Steve.

Literally.

He knows he’s still in the Tower, because once he’d asked JARVIS if Steve was settling in alright, and another time he’d informed Bruce of their new Tower resident over a video chat, but other than that… the Captain seems to make himself scarce.

For the first two weeks, it doesn’t really bother him. He spends most of his time in his labs anyways, (although he tries to come out at least semi-regularly, because his therapist glares at him when he doesn’t, and he finds that Judith is possibly better at guilting him into healthy living than _Pepper_ , which is honestly impressive.)

Of course, just because he might come up to the common room a few times a day, doesn’t mean he’ll actually run into Steve at some point, and for the first little while, he’s mostly relieved by that fact. The whole interaction with Steve had been weird from the start, and he isn’t exactly sure how much Steve actually _likes_ him (although, he’s got to, a little, right? Or he wouldn’t have come. Right?)

Still, the distinct lack of Steve’s presence in the Tower, and the weirdness around his arrival in the first place, tugs at Tony’s brain, and more often than not, he finds his mind wandering in that direction, busy trying to pull apart the logic behind Steve’s sudden arrival and unexpected break with SHIELD.

He has nothing to go on though, so the exercise is more frustrating than anything.

Finally, one day he gives up, sitting back from his workbench and crossing his arms, resigning himself to at least checking in on the Captain, if only to let his brain put the man to rest. “JARVIS?” he says, tilting his head back. “It’s been a while. How’s our resident super soldier doing? He doing okay?”

He expects to get a simple, dry affirmative, so that he can get back to work, but instead his eyebrows raise as JARVIS remains quiet for a few moments, the unexpected silence unsettling before he finally replies. “I am not allowed to reveal personal information unless given permission, Sir.”

Tony’s brows are at his hairline by the end of his sentence and he sits up, an uneasy sense of foreboding settling in his stomach. “And… it’s personal to tell me that he’s doing okay?” he asks slowly, his hands migrating to rest on the table in front of him.

JARVIS remains silent, which… doesn’t bode well.

Generally, it _isn’t_ personal to tell someone if someone else is doing fine. That’s… that’s the default setting, right? So JARVIS wouldn’t be unable to respond unless… unless something _isn’t_ fine. Tony swallows, his hands pressing into the counter. “JARVIS,” he says firmly. “Is something wrong with Steve?”

JARVIS sits for another moment of silence, and Tony can almost _feel_ his AI threading himself through the loopholes of his programming. “I cannot reveal anything personal, without permission,” JARVIS recites at him. “Unless I feel my subject’s health or life is in danger.”

The line should reassure him that Steve isn’t in _imminent_ danger, but JARVIS’ next words send Tony right back into his rapidly growing concern. “As you already know, Sir,” he says carefully. “Captain Rogers’ serum enables him to maintain himself beyond the capacity of most other people.”

 _In other words,_ Tony thinks uneasily, standing up abruptly from his chair. _Steve could be doing who knows_ what _to his overall health, and still pass JARVIS’ emergency protocols._

“Where is Steve right now?” he asks tightly, his mind racing a mile a minute as he makes his way to the elevator. This is not what he had been expecting when he had let Steve into his Tower, and part of him can’t help the stab of guilt he feels at the fact that he hadn’t tried to keep a closer eye on him.

But it’s not like he could have predicted this, right? Steve could have _said_ something if something was wrong. (He steadily ignores the part of his brain that helpfully points out that _he_ generally doesn’t take that route either, no matter how much he might be working on that.)

JARVIS opens the elevator doors for him immediately and starts bringing it upwards. “Captain Rogers is currently in his suite,” he informs him as Tony runs a restless hand through his hair, his brain taking the chance to question what exactly he thinks he’s going to do once he gets to Steve’s apartment.

For one thing, he technically doesn’t even know if something is actually _wrong_ with Steve. For all he knows, Steve had asked JARVIS not to talk about him to anyone (although, at this point, Tony is pretty sure he can read his AI pretty well, so he’s willing to trust his instincts on this one.) Either way, Tony isn’t exactly… _good_ at… this sort of thing. (He can already hear the voice of Judith in the back of his head, raising her eyebrow and informing him about defense mechanisms and denial.) _And_ , he and Steve aren’t exactly _close._ He has no idea how the man will react if he tries to approach him about anything… sensitive.

Not that he knows what exactly is going to come up once he gets there, but _something_ had happened to Steve, in order for him to quit SHIELD, and Tony has a feeling that whatever it is, it isn’t pretty.

When he arrives at Steve’s room, he’s confronted by an entirely different problem, namely, the locked door. He knocks first, of course, a part of him desperately hoping that Steve will open the door, confused but perfectly fine, and then they can go back to ignoring each other.

But Steve doesn’t answer, even after he bangs on the door a few times, leaving him with no other option but to find another way in. “JARVIS,” he says sharply. “Open up.”

There’s a silence— in which Tony can practically feel his AI sighing at him— before he replies. “My protocols prevent me from doing so without the permission of Captain Rogers unless his—”

“Health or life is in danger,” Tony cuts in, rolling his eyes skyward. “You’re killing me here, J.” JARVIS doesn’t reply, and Tony is left to his own devices. Thankfully, he knows the Tower’s wiring inside and out, since he _built_ the thing, and he turns instantly to the panel by Steve’s door, his fingers feeling along the edge until he’s able to pop off the front.

It’s probably a testament to the fact that JARVIS actually wants him to succeed in checking in on the Captain that his AI doesn’t try to prevent him from hacking anything, and after a few minutes, Tony’s hard work pays off with the subtle click of a disengaging lock.

Now he just has to go inside.

Right.

He replaces the panel first, before wiping his hands on his pants and taking in a breath, his heart beating uncomfortably fast as he reaches forward to push open the door. He edges in slowly, unsure what to expect as his eyes scan the entryway in front of him. The lights are off, making the area dim, but he’s still able to see Steve’s jacket hung up by the door, and his shoes lined up neatly on the floor.

“Steve?” he calls, before finally stepping fully inside. He gets no answer, and he tries not to feel too much like he’s breaking and entering as he begins to make his way down the hall.

The hall breaks off into a kitchen, the wall ending off in a long counter that serves as an eating area, and allows Tony to see inside. It's… immaculate. It's so clean that for a second, he isn’t even sure if anyone actually _eats_ in there, because there are exactly zero crumbs and zero dishes— dirty or otherwise— in the whole place. It's only the washcloth hanging to dry in the sink, that convinces him that there _might_ be someone who uses the room in front of him.

The effect is unsettling, and he stares for a moment longer, before turning to make his way down the rest of the hall to the living room. The lights remain off, and the blinds for the windows in the far wall are closed, keeping the couch and TV setup in darkness. He flicks his eyes around the room, and for the life of him, he can’t find a single thing that might have come with Steve in that box of his. Even the bookshelf is stocked only with the showy classics the room had come with.

“Steve?” he calls again, feeling distinctly uncomfortable as he sweeps his eyes over the closed doors of what he knows is the bedroom and bathroom. He gets no response, and he’s about to step towards the bedroom door, when he hears the low and steady sound of someone breathing.

He’s not too proud to admit that his heart skips a beat as he whirls around, his eyes darting around the living room once again as he tries to figure out where the sound is coming from. It isn’t until he takes a few steps forward and comes around the back of the couch that he finally finds the source of the breathing. Steve is laid out on the couch, a comforter pulled up to his shoulders and— by the looks of it— he’s dead asleep.

Tony finds himself staring as he tries to remember what time it is. The Captain doesn’t seem like the kind of person to sleep at odd hours of the day, but Tony is _reasonably_ certain that it isn’t even past five yet, and here Steve is, napping on his couch. He flicks his eyes over him as if to reconfirm his suspicions, and they widen slightly as he takes a closer look. Not only is Steve laying under his comforter, but he’s actually laying _on_ his sheets, like he’d made up the couch purposely to sleep on, instead of something more accidental.

The fact adds to the pile of weirdness that seems to follow Steve, and Tony swallows as he takes a step forward. “Cap?” he finds himself whispering, as if he doesn’t actually want to be heard. And maybe… maybe he doesn’t, since he doesn’t really know what he’s doing. But, he had come in here for a reason, and JARVIS seems to be worried about Steve, so he’s _going to check on him_ , no matter how much he might think it’s a bad idea.

“Cap,” he says, a little louder this time as he takes a step forward and reaches for the man’s shoulder. “Cap, you okay?” He shakes his shoulder gently, not exactly sure what he’s doing and internally hoping that there _isn’t_ actually something wrong with Steve. People take naps all the time. For all he knows, Steve _is_ a nap person, and this is perfectly normal—

Under his hands, Steve snaps awake, going from dead asleep to high alert in 0.02 seconds, and Tony doesn’t even have time to pull back in shock before he’s being shoved. He lets out a grunt of surprise, and he almost looses his balance as Steve pushes him away and scrambles in the other direction. The blanket hinders him slightly, but before long, he’s standing at the other end of the couch, his shoulders hunched and on guard as he breathes forcefully in and out of his mouth.

Tony flashes back instantly to when he and Pepper had been woken up in bed by his Iron Man sentry, and before he knows it, his hands are up and he’s taking a step back, his mouth rambling. “Right, that was a bad plan.” He lets out a forced laugh, the sound brittle in the quiet room. “Yeah, probably should have thought of something else. You’d think that ‘genius’ would pertain to this sort of thing too, but no. Ha. But it’s fine! It's fine.” He nods, and he’s not sure which one of them he’s trying to convince. “It's just me, you know,” he continues. “Just me. I got a little worried— shocker, I know bu—”

“How did you get in.” His words die as Steve cuts him off, his voice harsh as he wipes his mouth with the back of his arm. His breaths are smoother now, and his shoulders straighter, but he’s glaring now. “I thought the door was supposed to _lock_ ,” he continues, his voice hard.

Tony’s jaw tightens and he swallows uneasily, shifting slightly on his feet. “It does,” he says, keeping his hands in the air. “But JARVIS was being cryptic about whether you were okay or not, and you didn’t answer, and JARVIS wouldn’t open the door… so, well I—”

“You broke in,” Steve says, and Tony tries not to wince at the flatness of his tone. “I thought you said I wouldn’t have to worry about intruders.”

“I did,” Tony bursts out, beginning to severely regret this entire venture. Across from him, Steve stands up fully, and Tony drops his arms, trying to keep from fidgeting nervously. “I thought something was wrong,” he continues. “And JARVIS must have too, or else he would have stopped me from hacking your door.”

Steve’s eyes flick briefly to the ceiling at the mention of JARVIS, but his expression doesn’t soften as it drops back down to Tony. “I’m fine,” he says stiffly, before seeming to cast his eyes up to the ceiling again in a pointed glare.

Tony finds his eyes sweeping over the bare room, and the bed set up on the couch, and he can’t find the words to explain how everything about it feels _wrong,_ and Steve doesn’t give him the chance, because he takes a step back, angling his shoulders as if to show Tony out of the room. “You can leave now,” he says, his eyes hard specks of ice.

He does, retreating with as much dignity as possible, beyond grateful for a chance to escape Steve’s anger and the oppressive darkness of his rooms. He shuts the door carefully as he leaves, as if trying to make up for invading the Captain’s privacy, before he lets out an exhausted breath, his shoulders slumping as he lets his head fall forward to rest against the wall next to the door.

“That did not go well,” he notes dryly.

“No… it did not, Sir.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things aren't going so great for Steve or Tony right now. I hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

So, first attempt to connect with Steve in a meaningful way does not go well, but it does clue Tony into a few things. First is that something is definitely up with Steve. He can’t exactly put his finger on _what_ it is, but JARVIS is definitely worried, even if he can’t tell him why, and Steve’s behaviour, and claims otherwise, were not exactly super convincing.

He learns from JARVIS that Steve spends most of his time in his room— which is just depressing, considering how _empty_ the place still is— and that he orders most of whatever he needs to his rooms, meaning that it is unlikely for them to cross paths in the common room on the way to the coffee pot or something.

Which leads him to the second thing his encounter with Steve had taught him. He’s going to need to work on his approach, and he's probably going to need help with that.

Of course, he doesn’t exactly know _why_ he is suddenly so set on forcing himself into Steve’s life. It’s obvious the man would rather be left alone to sit in the dark and stare at nothing, or whatever, but…he can’t help it if Steve’s behaviour reminds him uncomfortably of his own when he’d been busy dying of palladium poisoning, and then when he’d been having panic attacks after New York.

Which instantly brings to mind the people who had actually helped him survive that period of his life, namely Pepper and Rhodey. _He_ may not know what is going on with Steve, but if those two had been able to get him through his own self-destruction, then they might have a tip or two for what he should do now.

He decides to call Rhodey, because one, he hadn’t called him in a while, two, Rhodey had been dealing with him for a lot longer than Pepper, and three, he’s kind of hoping that Rhodey’s military past might help out a little with this. Not that he’s planning to tell Rhodey _everything_ about what’s happening. Steve is already mad at him, and he doubts telling random people about his personal problems will help anything.

Of course, that _does_ make it a little difficult to talk about, but he’s not a genius for nothing. “Rhodey!” He says, leaning back on his couch as JARVIS connects the call. For a second his hand twitches automatically for a glass of something, but he pushes the thought away, concentrating instead on the voice on the other end of the connection.

“ _Tony._ ” Rhodey’s warm voice greets him before it takes on an amused tone. _“Should I get 911 on the line? Or is Pepper just mad at you again?”_

Tony fights back a grin, instead choosing to pout mightily, even though he knows Rhodey can’t see him. “I’m wounded Platypus,” he says, pressing a hand to his chest. “And you should know that if I had Pepper on my tail, then I wouldn’t even get the chance to call for help.”

Rhodey laughs at that, and Tony finds himself relaxing at the sound. _“So what is it then?”_ he asks. “ _Either you’ve invented something really cool, or you’ve set fire to something.”_

Tony lets out a snort and shakes his head. “Don’t underestimate me,” he says with a grin. “I’m fully capable of doing both at the same time.” He claps his hands. “But! I actually haven’t done either of those today. I just have a question.”

Rhodey hums for him to continue, so Tony takes in a breath and rubs his hands together. “Okay, so, hypothetically,” he starts, and he can almost feel Rhodey rolling his eyes on the other end of the phone. “If you suspected that someone you knew wasn’t doing so well— you don’t exactly know _how_ , because they don’t want to talk about it— but you think so anyway…what are you supposed to do after that?” He scrunches his nose up and scowls. “How am I supposed to get this person to tell me what’s wrong, and then what do I do about that?”

Rhodey sits in silence for a moment. “ _Hypothetically?_ ” he asks.

“Hypothetically,” Tony confirms.

Rhodey is quiet for a moment longer, before seeming to shift on the other end of the line. _“So I don’t know what kinds of symptoms this_ hypothetical _person is displaying,_ ” he starts. _“But in my experience, if they don’t want to talk about it, then nothing in the world will force them to.”_ He breathes in. _“If you want to help someone like that, then start by just being there for them. If they can grow to trust you, and, you know, enjoy spending time with you, then you might be able to get them to open up – or at least, you might be able to help them when they need it most.”_

Tony swallows thickly, his mind flashing back to a certain roommate that, for some reason, had been determined to keep a seventeen-year-old brat from burning out, no matter how much he had seemed to want to. “Yeah, okay,” he says, pressing his hands to his knees and trying not to get all mushy. “Basically, out-stubborn them. I’m sure that’ll help.” He takes in a breath. “You know, metaphorically.”

“ _Hypothetically,_ ” Rhodey supplies, and Tony can’t resist a laugh.

oOo

Operation “Get Steve to Like Him so that He Will Maybe Tell Him What’s Wrong” kicks off, and Tony does his best to figure out the best way to try and begin repairing their relationship.

“Movies. He’s got to like movies,” he says to JARVIS as he works away in the lab. “I mean, they’re fun, and you’re _encouraged_ not to talk during them, that’s got to be a plus for him. And he’s gotta have watched a few, they had them back then, right?”

“They did indeed, Sir,” JARVIS replies, which basically settles it.

He lets JARVIS choose the movie, because at this point, he isn’t about to risk choosing something that will upset the Captain. And he invites Pepper over, because he thinks it might be too awkward to sit there without her. Pepper is amiable to the idea – although he does his best to play it off as just a normal movie night – and all that’s left for him to do is actually go and invite his resident hermit to the common room.

He knocks on the door with a good deal of apprehension, memories from _last_ time he’d tried this not far from mind. JARVIS had told him that Steve is indeed in the Tower (and awake this time), but Tony still has to wait a full minute before he knocks again, a little louder this time. Under no circumstances is he going to break in to Steve’s room again, but he _is_ prepared to knock as long as he needs to get the man to open the door.

He’s just finished his third round of knocking when the door finally swings inward, causing Tony to jerk back slightly in surprise. For a second, he forgets all of his prepared words, and he just stares at Steve, taking him in for the first time in several days. In _general,_ Steve seems to look okay, although Tony can’t help noticing the faint bags under his eyes, and the slight paleness to his skin. He also looks more confused than angry at Tony’s interruption, so that is a plus.

“Do… you need something?” Steve asks finally, and Tony’s brain kicks in.

“No! Well, sort of.” He groans internally and rubs his hands over his pants, trying to settle himself. “I was wondering if you wanted to come up and watch a movie,” he gets out. “With me. In the common room. Pepper is there too.” The sentence is definitely not as coherent as he had been hoping for, and he resists the urge to bang his head on something.

Steve doesn’t look particularly tempted by his offer; his expression almost blank with how neutral it is. “That’s okay,” he says, shifting back a little into his room. “Thank you for the offer—”

“Wait!” Tony bursts out, because it looks like Steve is about to shut his door, and Tony is pretty sure that it won’t open again if he lets that happen. “Pepper tells me it’s a really good movie,” he rambles, glad at least that Steve seems to be pausing to listen to him. “ _The Slipper and the Rose,_ it’s like, a classic or something. She watched it as a kid.” He waves his hand. “I haven’t actually seen it, but she says that it’s a retelling of Cinderella.”

Pepper actually _had_ seen the movie before, and had been excited to see it again, but JARVIS had also picked it because fairy tales are generally safe topics, and unlikely to be overly upsetting for first-time viewers.

Steve seems to hesitate at his door and Tony feels a surge of hope spring up in his chest as he watches him. “Who’s… Pepper?” Steve finally asks, making Tony feel like an idiot again for not thinking to explain beforehand.

“Oh she’s my—” He stutters to a halt for a second, before starting up again. “Girlfriend. Yes. That is the word we are using— Anyway,” he hurries to move on, hoping that Steve isn’t uncomfortable with the idea of watching a movie with another couple. “She also works for Stark Industries, she’s my CEO and she’s awesome.” He grins in genuine pride. “But she’s busy making popcorn right now, and she always makes too much, so we could really use the help eating it.”

That is actually a complete fabrication, but he knows that by the time he gets up to the common room— with or without Steve— JARVIS will have made sure that there is enough popcorn to validate his claim. Which means Steve better come, or else there might be problems.

Steve flicks his eyes over him and chews on his lip for a moment, before his shoulders seem to slump slightly. “I guess,” he says slowly, looking at him as though he expects Tony to suddenly change his mind. “If you don’t mind…”

“Great.” Tony grins widely, accepting immediately and mentally refusing to let the Captain back down now. “We can go up right away,” he says, stepping back slightly. “JARVIS has everything set up.” To his relief, Steve steps out easily after him and follows him down to the elevator. The silent ride is at least short, JARVIS taking them up quickly and letting them out at the common room, the smell of butter and popcorn greeting them as they exit.

Pepper is already sitting on the ring of couches in front of the TV, and she turns to smile at him as they arrive, which immediately helps to make Tony feel more at ease. She's sitting in the middle of the couch, with bowls of popcorn on the coffee table in front of her, and he makes his way over to sit on her right, snagging a bowl of popcorn for himself as he does so.

“There’s more in the kitchen if we finish this,” Pepper tells him with a raised eyebrow, and Tony just shrugs. They can always eat popcorn later, or feed it to birds or something if they don’t manage to eat however much JARVIS had made for them. 

Pepper’s mouth twitches up at him while he shoves a handful of popcorn in his mouth and Steve quietly makes his way over to sit on her other side. He waits until Pepper nudges a bowl in his direction before finally claiming his own, and Tony winces internally at how stiff his shoulders are again.

He eats the popcorn though, as JARVIS dims the lights and the movie begins, and out of the corner of his eye, Tony can see the Captain gradually begin to relax back into the couch behind him as the movie progresses. The sight is a relief to see, and Tony allows himself to relax a little too, focusing more fully on the screen in front of him.

The movie is actually pretty enjoyable. It’s a live-action Cinderella, but it embellishes a bit on the original tale, breathing life and logic into the characters — and musical numbers. He hadn't realised that is what he had been getting into before this, but Pepper hums along next to him, and he has to admit that the songs are rather catchy.

About a third of the way into the movie, he glances over at Steve to see how he’s doing, only to find that he’s completely finished off his bowl of popcorn, seeds and everything. Tony still has about half his bowl left, so the Captain’s empty one throws him a little, but he supposes that some people eat faster than others. It’s actually perfect though, because he’s certain he still has _way_ too much popcorn in his kitchen, and he _had_ told Steve he wanted him to eat it for him.

And that is why he finds himself casually making his way over to the kitchen and the _three other_ bowls of popcorn that JARVIS had made them. On his way back with them, he postures a little about how he and Pepper will never be able to eat it all, and how he wouldn’t want it to go to waste, before he finally settles them all on Steve’s side of the coffee table.

It takes a little bit for Steve to actually take any, but while Cinderella is busy trying to sew ball gowns for her stepfamily, Steve finally swaps out his empty bowl for a new one. After that it’s like some sort of switch is flipped, because he almost literally _plows_ his way through the bowl. Tony isn’t even certain he’s aware that he’s doing it, because his eyes remain fixed on the TV screen as he eats, somehow managing to finish the second bowl before the Prince begins his search for Cinderella with her shoe.

After _that_ bowl is empty, he waits for a few scenes, his eyes flicking to Pepper and Tony as if checking if they want any popcorn. Once he’s certain they’re fine, he reaches for the third bowl. He works his way through that one too, (and Tony is quietly beginning to wonder if he’d eaten supper before they’d sat down tonight) so that by the time Cinderella is being politely smuggled away by the king (because she isn’t a _Princess_ ) Steve is beginning to eye the fourth and final bowl.

It takes him a while to reach for it, probably because it’s the last one left (or maybe because he’s full? Is he full? Is he eating because Tony told him to? He _must_ have eaten before this, right?) But eventually he does go for it, and by the time Cinderella is finally reunited with and married to the Prince, the bowl is basically empty. 

“That was nice,” Pepper says, as the movie credits begin to scroll, and Tony is busy reeling from the sheer amount of food Steve had managed to put away. “I always like that one, it just seems more realistic than the Disney movie.”

Beside her, Steve actually perks up. “There’s a Disney Cinderella?” he asks, looking surprised.

Tony blinks in surprise and Pepper turns to him. “Oh yeah,” she says. “It was one of my favourites when I was a little girl.” She gives him a considering look. “I’m not sure when it was released actually.”

Tony sits up and sets his bowl of popcorn aside. “Hey J?” he calls, bringing everyone’s attention to the AI.

“Walt Disney’s _Cinderella_ was released in 1950,” JARVIS provides easily, and Tony blinks, looking over at Steve.

“So I guess, after your time then,” he says before running a hand through his hair. “Geez, how many Disney movies did they even _have_ back then? They’ve got _hundreds_ now.”

Steve’s mouth twitches down for a moment, before he seems to make a conscious effort to relax, his fingers fiddling slightly with his bowl as he sits. “I’m not sure how many they had,” he says a little stiffly. “I only saw a few. We saw _Snow White and the Seven Dwarves,_ and then _Bambi_ came out right before I joined the army.”

Pepper smiles at him before Tony can say anything. “Oh, those ones are always special,” she says. “I heard _Snow White and the Seven Dwarves_ was especially impressive because they were animating a person, and drawing everything by hand. Apparently it’s easier to do that with animals.”

Steve blinks at her a little and his spine seems to loosen somewhat. “Yeah,” he says, while Tony is busy mentally singing Pepper’s praises. It had definitely been a good idea to bring her tonight. “The art design for the movie was pretty impressive.”

Pepper’s eyes light up at that and she turns back to Tony. “Oh Tony, that reminds me,” she says. “Happy will be dropping off a painting tomorrow, I thought we could put it up on the third floor.”

Tony nods absentmindedly, not at all shocked that Pepper had found another art piece that she likes, but across from him, Steve’s brows raise slightly in surprise. “You collect art?” he asks, sitting up slightly in interest.

Tony waves a hand. “Pepper does, more than me,” he says. “I just have enough walls to support her obsession.”

Pepper laughs at that, and Steve’s mouth actually twitches up a little, which is probably the closest to a genuine smile that Tony has seen on him yet— which he is counting as a win— and Pepper turns back to Steve.

“Do you like art?” she asks, and Tony finds himself singing her praises again, because he swears Steve very _nearly_ lights up at her question.

“Yes,” he replies, something close to excitement in his voice as he leans forward.

Pepper is, of course, excited for someone to share her passion with, and while Tony is busy trying to remember if Howard had ever mentioned this side of Steve Rogers, Pepper somehow manages to get him to agree to go on an outing with them to MoMA.

“I’ve been wanting to go for _ages_ ,” she says, after introducing the idea, and really… he and Steve have no choice after that.

oOo

Tony had never actually gone to MoMA before, but apparently Steve had, because the museum had opened in 1929. “I only got to go once,” he tells them as they stand outside the building, his hands in his pockets as he looks over the outside. “It’s certainly… bigger now.”

“It’s got a garden now too,” Pepper tells them as they make their way inside and past admission. There’s a steady flow of people around them, but there isn’t a huge crowd, because Steve had insisted that they go on a Friday evening. Apparently, admission into the museum is free on Fridays between 5:30 and 9:00pm, and no amount of assurance that admission wouldn’t be a problem could sway Steve.

“Why pay for it, if we can do it for free?” had been his basic argument, and Tony had eventually given in.

It’s still pretty early in the year, so the sun is beginning to set, leaving some of the outdoor portions of the museum – like the garden – in darkness, but Steve doesn’t seem to mind, browsing amiably through the displays while Pepper explains to him the development of art over the last seventy years.

Tony trails along behind and mostly keeps his mouth shut. The museum, of course, is modern art, so some of it is a little weird for his tastes. But, he _does_ have some appreciation for art, and he’s honestly just happy that Steve is outside of the Tower, since he’s pretty sure the man hasn’t left for several weeks at this point. He’s willing to go to any _number_ of museums if it keeps Steve’s shoulders from looking like a pile of stiff boards.

Near the end of their tour, they reach a collection of sculptures and paintings from the years 1940-1980. Pepper and Steve both seem especially interested in the display, because the whole thing visually demonstrates the progression of art from Steve’s time to almost modern day, and Tony finds himself a little glad that the museum closes at 9:00, since that means he has a guarantee of eventually being allowed to leave.

The display spans several rooms, and the three of them split up to look at what most interests them, and Tony does his best to meander slowly and give the other two the chance to admire everything properly. Eventually he finds himself next to Steve again, looking over a Boccioni painting that is apparently supposed to represent the “Dynamism of a soccer player”, and while Tony cannot say it reminds him of soccer, it does look pretty cool.

“I didn’t realise you were so into art,” he says conversationally to Steve after a moment of admiring the painting. “We have a lot of stuff around the Tower too, you know,” he continues, waving his hand. “JARVIS can direct you around if you want to see them.”

Beside him, Steve nods his head. “That sounds nice,” he says, and Tony tries not to roll his eyes at how hard it is to make conversation with the man. It’d be nice if he threw him a bone or something.

“So…” he tries again. “How’d you get into art? You seem to like it a lot, even though you didn’t come here much.”

Steve shifts a little on his feet, before starting to drift over to the next painting, _Dynamic Hieroglyphic of the Bal Tabarin_ , whatever that means. Tony follows him over, and Steve shoves his hands in his pockets. “I drew a lot, growing up,” he says finally, his eyes on the painting. “Actually…” He flicks his eyes down for a second and shrugs one shoulder. “I went to art school for a while.” Tony looks over at him in surprise and Steve shrugs again, his gaze back on the painting. “I dropped out when the war started.”

Tony swallows, suddenly unsure as to how to respond. “I… didn’t know that,” he says after a few seconds, and Steve turns away to a sculpture behind them.

“It doesn’t seem to make it into the history books much,” he says flatly.

oOo

The movie night and the museum trip actually seemed to have gone over well — even though Steve is still not making any more appearances outside of his room — and Tony is determined to continue on his winning streak.

Which is why he finds himself yet again knocking on Steve’s door, on an afternoon a few days after their trip to MoMA. “We should watch another movie,” he says, as soon as Steve finally opens his door. His words seem to actually shock the man into silence for a moment, because he just stands there, and Tony fights to keep from fidgeting too much with his hands while he waits to see how the Captain will react.

“Why?” he asks finally, as if he can’t understand why Tony would want to spend time with him.

Honestly, Tony wonders about that a little himself, but he’s not about to tell Steve that. “Because,” he replies childishly, before trying to come up with a few more convincing reasons. “Because, Bruce is gone and I’m bored and there’s a whole ton of Disney movies that you haven’t seen.”

Steve stares at him for a moment longer, and Tony almost despairs at getting him to actually step outside his door. But just as he’s beginning his internal lament, Steve nods, quick and sharp as though making a deal with himself, and Tony tries not to make his breath of relief too obvious.

“What movie where you thinking?" Steve asks as he finally exits his room and closes the door behind him.

“ _Well,_ ” Tony starts off, rubbing his hands together as he and Steve make their way to the elevator. “I figured we might as well watch the Disney adaptation of Cinderella, and after that JARVIS can show us a list of their stuff and we can go from there.”

Steve doesn’t seem to mind the plan, or at least, he doesn’t _protest_ it, and they soon step off the elevator into the common room and head over to the couches. On the coffee table Tony has set out for them several bowls of a few snack foods like pretzels, M&Ms and, of course, popcorn. There isn’t as much as _last_ time, but he’d definitely put out more than he usually would, because, he has to admit, part of him is curious to see whether Steve will eat as much as he did last time.

“Be sure to help yourself,” he tells him as they sit down and JARVIS starts the movie.

Steve nods quietly, and at first Tony expects him to stay that way, but as his eyes skate over the haul on the table, they widen slightly and he leans forward as if intrigued. “Are these M&Ms?” he asks, a note of surprise in his voice as he points to the bowl of colourful candy. At Tony’s nod, Steve’s mouth flickers upwards, and his whole face seems to soften as he looks at the bowl. “I didn’t realise they would still make them,” he says softly. “They’d just come out for us, I only got to try them a few times.”

Tony mentally puts ‘Research candy that Steve does and doesn’t know’ on his to-do list, and watches with an air of satisfaction as Steve reaches forward and takes a handful of the chocolates. Tony reaches forward to grab his own assortment of snacks, and they both settle back to enjoy the movie.

It’s a children’s film really, but Steve doesn’t seem to mind, and it had been years since Tony had last seen any Disney classics, so he finds the experience more enjoyable than he’d been expecting. As he’d suspected, Steve gradually begins to plow his way through the snack collection—although at one point, he inexplicably pauses, silently refusing to take anymore until after Tony grabs some more for himself. After that, the bowls seem to be fair game again, and Steve continues to work his way through them.

He seems to be enjoying the movie too, actually providing commentary every once and a while to compare it to the last Cinderella movie they had seen, and overall, Tony is feeling rather triumphant in his success at getting the Captain out of his room and engaged in something.

And then JARVIS has to speak up. “Captain Rogers,” he says, causing Steve to glance up at the ceiling. “You have an incoming call from Director Fury of SHIELD.”

At his words, Tony opens his mouth to tell JARVIS to pause the movie so that Steve can take his call, but he doesn’t get the chance, because Steve is suddenly all straight lines and right angles again, his spine practically snapping into place as he tenses. “Decline,” he bites out, his face suddenly a severe stone wall.

Tony stares at him in a kind of mute shock, completely unprepared for Steve to react so viscerally to the call. Next to him, Steve seem to ignore him, gritting his teeth and focusing determinedly on the screen in front of them, his shoulders achingly straight and stiff.

His stomach twists uncomfortably and Tony swallows, looking back towards the movie. His heart isn’t really into the story anymore, and he’s abruptly reminded all over again that _something had happened_ with Steve, and, obviously, SHIELD is part of that. He reaches down numbly to eat a pretzel and tries not to think too much about _his_ encounters with SHIELD, such as the time Fury had broken into his house to talk to him, or when he had had Natasha stab him in the neck with a cure they had known he’d needed, because they had been spying on him. 

Thanks to the weird tension that Fury’s call had caused, Tony half-expects Steve to refuse his next movie invitation. To his surprise, he actually comes, and they settle down to another spread of food and the movies _Pinocchio_ and _Dumbo,_ which had apparently been release when Steve had been around, but he had never gotten the chance to see.

It's after lunch by the time the two movies are done, and even though they had finished off the snacks, Tony is definitely craving something more substantial. Steve follows him into the kitchen as he gets up to find something to eat, and he waves his hand as he invites him to help himself. “JARVIS keeps the place stocked,” he explains as he pulls open the fridge to look inside. “So there should be something.”

He ends up pulling out a whole collection of sandwich condiments and toppings, and he piles them carefully on the island counter that serves as the dinning area. He makes one for himself before leaving Steve to his own devices, and Steve makes two, eating them quietly across from him. For his part, Tony ends up getting distracted by his phone, so he isn’t finished his before Steve, and out of the corner of his eye, he can see the man sitting with his empty plate and eyeing the rest of the food.

Steve had already eaten the majority of today’s snacks, but if he’s somehow still hungry, then Tony kind of wishes he would just _eat_ whatever he wants, instead of whatever it is he is doing. “Feel free to make more,” he says, gesturing vaguely at the collection on the top of the counter. “It’s called a _common_ room kitchen for a reason you know.”

At his announcement, Steve seems to stare at him for some reason, and Tony tries to ignore him by focusing back on his phone. Eventually Steve does get up and make himself another two sandwiches, (and Tony is _seriously_ beginning to admire the man’s appetite). He eats them quickly, as if they might disappear, and Tony makes a point of finishing his original sandwich at a more reasonable pace.

He can’t help noticing that even though Steve continues to eye the sandwich ingredients after his latest two, he gets up and places his plate in the sink once he’s done, seemingly uninterested in any more, now that Tony is finished eating.

The sandwich thing seems to stick in his head, and he finds himself thinking about it later as he sits in his lab, ineffectively trying to work on his most recent project. As he’s spent more time with Steve, he’s noticed that the man seems to have an… odd relationship with food.

For one thing, he eats in weird amounts. He consistently eats more than Tony would ever want to eat, but he also seems to actively fight doing so. He finds he doesn’t have an accurate estimate for how much food Steve can eat, because the man keeps checking himself, refusing to take any more until Tony does. It’s obvious that he isn’t stopping himself because he’s full— he eats plenty after he’s sure Tony’s had his fill… but he also doesn’t ask for more.

Tony groans and rubs his hands over his face, his mind flashing back to the disturbingly empty kitchen that he had seen when he had broken into Steve’s apartment. The man eats food, right? The serum didn’t turn him into a vampire or anything, so he has to eat food.

Tony huffs out a frustrated breath but doesn’t bother asking JARVIS about Steve’s dietary needs. For one thing, JARVIS will most likely parrot off his privacy restrictions again, and for another, the thought about Steve serum reminds him of something he had read in his father’s notes once. He hadn’t studied them closely, since he’d been kind of annoyed at the whole Captain America thing at that point in his life… but hadn’t they said something about Steve needing to eat more now?

He frowns and thinks over Steve’s weird eating habits again. In the light of that information… he wouldn’t be surprised if Steve is somehow stubbornly eating less than he is supposed to, only eating more by accident, or when given the opportunity. He purses his lips and taps his finger against the table. From what he’s seen… Steve _is_ willing to eat a large amount of food— at least while Tony is around, he has no idea what Steve does in his own rooms— but he seems to curtail his intake based on how much he thinks he’s supposed to eat, and whether or not Tony is _also_ eating.

His brow furls and the cogs in his brain start spinning. This might be something he will have to… experiment with.

Steve hardly seems surprised anymore when Tony shows up at his door again with more movies to watch. They watch _Alice in Wonderland_ and _Peter Pan_ this time, and Tony is sure to provide plenty of snacks for the both of them. He can’t help feeling a slight burst of pride when Steve gets excited over the Mars bars and other “old” candy that he’s found (he also privately wonders how he could not know about some of the stuff that is still around from the 40s. He’d had off-time from SHIELD… right?)

Either way, Tony is actually most interested in lunchtime _after_ the movies, because this time he is _prepared_ , and he wants to see if his theory about Steve’s eating is correct. For this experiment, he’s made sure that JARVIS has stocked the kitchen with plenty of bread and condiments, and then, when he and Steve go to make their sandwiches, he makes two for himself, and then proceeds to eat them _really slowly_.

His excuse is his phone again, but in reality, he spends most of his time very carefully _not_ watching Steve, and waiting to see what he does. At first, Steve simply makes two sandwiches again, making and eating them with a sort of mind-numbing automation that makes Tony wonder if he’s even actually tasting them, and whether or not he actually likes sandwiches.

Once he’s done those, he waits for a few minutes, and Tony makes a point of not looking at him as he takes a careful bite of his own sandwich. For a second, he thinks that Steve might not actually eat any more, but after what seems like a moment of internal deliberation, the man finally gets up and makes himself another two sandwiches. They are now tied with the number from last time, and Tony finishes off his first sandwich at the same time that Steve finishes off his new ones.

At this point, Tony is a little concerned that Steve might be self-conscious about eating so much in front of him, so he strategically turns to start up a pros and cons debate with JARVIS over a new development in green energy, effectively leaving Steve to make his move in relative privacy.

He… might feel a _little_ too triumphant when Steve gets up to make _another_ two sandwiches.

For his part, Tony almost forgets to eat his own sandwich because he’s actually enjoying his conversation with JARVIS, and the last half gets mostly neglected while they talk back and forth. It’s probably a good thing anyway, because apparently Steve is still hungry, and once he’s done with sandwiches five and six, he actually gets up _again_ to make sandwiches seven and eight.

Tony wonders briefly if perhaps the Captain is against leaving behind leftovers, and _that’s_ why he’s eating so much, but then he remembers that Steve had been perfectly willing to stop after four sandwiches last time, so he truly must be hungry enough to eat everything he’s taking.

He seems to be slowing down though, which is probably a good thing, and he seems to look over Tony with a considering gaze as he bites into his second to last sandwich. His eyes flick to the ceiling and then back to Tony before he licks his lips and jumps in at a pause in the debate. “What… exactly _is_ this green energy… thing?” He asks, causing Tony to look over at him.

He’ll admit that he’s a little surprised at the question, since, even though he had been spending more and more time with Steve, they don’t actually talk about much besides snack foods and movies. That, plus, he’s _pretty_ sure that this is probably the first time that Steve has actually _started_ a conversation with him. Steve seems to be at least slightly aware of this, because he sits a little stiffer than he’d been a few moments before, an expression on his face that, for some reason, looks like he’s prepared for Tony to throw his question back in his face.

Tony stomach twists and he tries not to think about what kinds of experiences could have led up to the Captain being cautious in asking questions about things he doesn’t understand. Instead he leaps into explaining everything he can about green energy and Stark Industries’ development in that area.

To his surprise, Steve actually seems interested in green energy (and he can’t help if a small part of him feels a little vindicated at everyone who had criticized his shutdown of weapons production), and they actually have a full on, real conversation about it, with back and forth dialogue and everything.

“My arc reactor is probably the leading technology in green energy right now,” he says, his hands waving as Steve leans on the counter across from him, his sandwich momentarily forgotten. “I have one hooked up to the Tower right now. We’re still working on large scale production but—” He gets cut off and Steve’s eyes dart to the ceiling as JARVIS speaks up.

“Captain Rogers,” he says as something in Steve tenses. “You have an incoming call from Fury, director of SHIE—”

“Decline,” Steve says sharply, the transformation instant as he pulls away, shifting from open and engaged, to cold and closed off in a second, his expression shuddering shut and his shoulders stiffening into solid blocks of stone before Tony’s very eyes.

He watches helplessly, and can’t help the kernel of loss that settles in his stomach as the Captain shuts down. For a moment there, they had actually seemed to be enjoying themselves, and then Fury had had to butt in and ruin everything.

Conversation is pointless after that, and Steve eats what’s left of his sandwich as quickly as possible. Tony finds he can’t think of anything to say to break the heavy silence that has descended on them, and within a few minutes Steve is standing up to give him a tight smile and a stilted thanks for the movie, leaving him to sit and wonder at what had just happened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Tony does his best to connect better with Steve this time, and it seems to be working... when SHIELD isn't butting in.
> 
> Did you know MoMA has an online database of exhibits from past years? From that, I'm pretty confident that the paintings I mentioned are ones that Tony and Steve could have actually seen in 2013.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony isn’t great with emotions. He’s at least working on it now, but he is aware that emotions are one thing that he doesn’t exactly have a great track record with. After doing his best to follow Rhodey’s advice and trying to make a connection with Steve, Tony is pretty confident in saying that Steve is _also_ very bad at emotions, and he’d even go so far as to say that the man seems very much determined not to deal with them at all.

The stagnancy is probably because he hasn’t chosen to open up to Tony yet, which would be fine… if Tony didn’t think that there is literally no one left alive on this _planet_ anymore that Steve is open with. Even Tony is aware that that isn’t healthy, and _that_ isn’t even taking into account the fact that _something_ had happened to Steve, and he doesn’t really seem to be dealing with it.

Tony’s already walked up and down _that_ road enough times to leave a rut, and he knows where it leads. And… despite how uptight the man can be… he doesn’t want to watch Steve walk himself down into self-destruction.

Not that he exactly knows what to _do_ about it… But he’s trying.

Which is why he is once again standing outside of Steve’s door and waiting to show him a movie. It’s evening this time, because Tony had wanted to see if he could feed the Captain supper, and he shifts a little impatiently on his feet as he waits for Steve to answer. So far, Steve has actually answered every time he’s knocked (besides the very first time, of course), and after the first, disastrous time, Tony is always sure to ask JARVIS if Steve is sleeping, before he tries to disturb him.

Steve opens up the door, and he almost looks like he _should_ be sleeping, because the bags under his eyes are heavier than usual, sitting like dark circles under his eyes. Tony chooses not to mention them though, because he feels it’s a sure-fire way of getting the man to clam-up, and he doesn’t want to risk that this evening.

“I got pizza,” he tells Steve before he can even open his mouth. “And the next movie is about dogs. It’s cute. You’ll like it.”

Steve’s mouth flickers up for a second, and he turns his face away for a moment, almost as if to hide it, before he steps out of his room and follows Tony down to the elevator. “What’s this one called?” he asks, his eyes flicking over Tony as they ride up.

“ _The Lady and the Tramp_ ,” he tells him, rubbing his hands together. “After that is _Sleeping Beauty_.” Steve nods at that, a sort of mild, pleasant expression on his face that he has whenever he’s not actively trying to stonewall anything. He wears it more often around Tony now, which he takes to be a good sign, although he does wonder if Steve really enjoys watching Disney movies so much. He _seems_ to, but Tony resolves to introduce him to his own collection of classics once their current marathon is over.

The elevator dings and lets them off, and they are greeted instantly by the smell of pizza that Tony has laid out on the coffee table. He’d bought extra, so that Steve can eat however much he wants, and they make their way over quickly, sitting down on the sides of the couch that they have more or less ‘claimed’, before grabbing a plate and a few slices each to start off.

“Let me know which ones are your favourites,” Tony tells him as he takes a bite of his first slice and JARVIS begins to play the opening credits of the movie. “I’ll be sure to get it next time.”

Steve seems to give him a sort of searching look at that, something bright in his eyes that Tony can’t quite read, before he swallows thickly and nods, turning to focus on the movie. “Thanks,” he says, his voice rough and quiet, something about it making Tony suspect that he isn’t just talking about the pizza.

Either way, he seems to like it at least, seeming to fall back into the habit of letting his stomach dictate his portion sizes, and probably eating a lot more than he would have if he had been paying attention. Tony doesn’t mind though, since he now heavily suspects that the Captain may need to eat more food than he generally does.

He seems to like the movies too, which is good, and Tony finds himself chuckling along with Steve at the antics between the good fairies in _Sleeping Beauty._ He almost gives a start at the sound though, because he’s pretty sure that is the first time he’s ever heard the Captain laugh, and a warm bubble of pride builds up in his chest at the sound. After that, he has to take a large bite of his pizza in order to keep from smiling too widely and making Steve look at him weirdly.

And then the bubble pops. “Captain Rogers,” JARVIS speaks up, and Tony just barely bites back a groan of despair. “You have an incoming call from Director Fury of SHIELD.”

Like watching the first domino fall, Tony watches as Steve’s shoulders tense and hunch all at the same time, part of him is actually surprised that the plate doesn’t crack as the man’s grip tightens on it, any remnants of a smile or good humour getting wiped from his face. “Decline,” he gets out, as if he’s in physical pain, and Tony fights to keep from sighing.

The pizza on his plate doesn’t really look appealing anymore.

At this point, he’s resigned to sit through the rest of the movie wading through the weird tension that Steve is exuding, and he can’t help scowling a little at the frequency of Fury’s calls. Does he seriously have to call Steve _all the time_ —

His train of thought gets cut off as JARVIS speaks up again. “Sir,” he says, his tone suddenly _very_ dry. “You have an incoming call from Fury, Director of SHIELD.”

Time seems to freeze for a second as Tony blinks in surprise and digests what JARVIS is saying. Next to him, Steve does the impossible and manages to grow even _tenser_ than before, practically levitating a few inches off the couch as he draws into himself.

He doesn’t really seem to be breathing much, and Tony flicks his eyes back and forth to him a few times before swallowing, shifting a little in his seat and taking in a breath. “Okay Steve,” he says slowly, watching a vein tick in Steve’s jaw as he speaks. “I’m going to decline this call,” he tells him. “And then you’re going to tell me why I did that, alright?” 

He doesn’t wait for Steve to respond, instead telling JARVIS to drop the call and keeping his eyes on Steve as JARVIS confirms the cancellation. He’s not exactly sure if Rhodey would approve of this method of getting Steve to talk, but he’s also pretty sure at this point that Steve isn’t going to open up willingly any time soon.

And he also knows a thing or two about being cornered into reaching out and getting help.

JARVIS pauses the movie for them while Tony waits for Steve to decide what he wants to do. Technically he doesn’t actually _have_ to do anything. Tony won’t stop him if he gets up and tries to leave, but… a part of him does hope the man will break down and actually tell him what’s going on with him. He’s willing to wait for it if he has to, and they sit for several minutes in silence while Steve seems to stare blankly in front of himself, his shoulders hunched up practically to his ears.

At long last, he sucks in a deep breath through his nose and sits back, his posture still stiff as he sets his plate down on the couch beside him and clenches his jaw, not looking up at Tony as he runs his hands over his pants a few times in an effort to calm himself. After a moment, his eyes flick up to Tony’s for a second, before he looks away again and swallows. “I’m not exactly… on good terms with SHIELD right now,” he says lowly, and Tony shifts, drawing his knee up onto the couch with him.

“Yeah, I guessed that,” he says shortly, and watches as Steve fiddles with the fabric of his pants for a moment, chewing on his words.

His lips purse and he glances up at Tony, his hand pressing into his leg. “Okay,” he starts. “So, do you… you remember how Coulson died?” His voice wavers for a second and he clears his throat. “But then he got brought back again? He wasn’t dead anymore?”

Of all the things he could have expected Steve to bring up, this is not one of them, and Tony’s eyes are wide as he swallows and nods, not exactly liking where this is going. Beside him, Steve breathes in and looks down at his hand on his leg, his mouth twisting. “They… SHIELD has—” He presses his lips together, and looks towards the TV for a moment, his eyes distant when he looks back at Tony.

“A few months ago,” he starts again. “I was on a mission, in Italy. You probably saw it on the news.” Tony nods again and Steve continues, his eyes focusing somewhere past his shoulder. “It… the mission went pear-shaped,” he says flatly. “It was a disaster, and— and I took a hit, and I went down and I _knew_ —” He cuts himself off as he licks his lips and swallows, his thumb running along the fabric of his pants as he tries to gather himself.

Tony watches silently as he sucks in a breath and pushes himself back into the couch, his shoulders achingly stiff. “I knew I was dying,” he says quietly, and Tony’s stomach drops, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end as he realises suddenly that he is not as prepared for this conversation as he had thought he had been.

“I know the kinds of things the serum can heal,” Steve continues in a horrible empty tone, his eyes now focused somewhere near his knee. “I _know_ the kinds of hits I can take, and there was so much blood and I _knew_ —” He swallows again. “I knew I was dying,” he repeats. “The mission was over, and I knew everything else was too and then—”

He glances up at Tony before shifting his gaze over to the frozen picture on the TV screen. “And then…” he says slowly. “I woke up in a SHIELD hospital, _again_ , and they told me I had been in a coma while the serum healed me, and I’d lost two months of my life and—” He breathes in shakily and Tony’s stomach twists, his eyes wide as he takes in everything the Captain is saying.

“I knew they were lying,” Steve says, his voice raw as his hand clenches on his leg. “I knew— I _knew_ I was supposed to be dead. Serum or no, I should have died, and they—” He breathes in, ducking his chin slightly. “They… finally told me that SHIELD has a… procedure they can do. Some sort of alien tech they’d used to bring back Coulson, and that it is supposed to be used to bring back a mortally wounded Avenger.”

If Tony had any words, they are gone now, dried up inside his mouth as he stares at Steve, trying to process what he’s being told. “They wouldn’t even tell me what it _was_ ,” Steve continues, his voice sharp as he glares in front of himself, his fingers white on his leg. “They told me it was _classified_ ,” he spits the word out like it’s poisonous. “And then they said they had erased the procedure from my brain because—”

He shudders and catches his breath, his lips pressing together again as he leans rigidly into the couch. He looks nothing like the stone wall that Tony is used to dealing with, instead, he looks like he might shatter apart at any moment, and Tony wonders how he could have missed it before.

“I wish I remembered it,” Steve manages finally, his voice strained as a slightly tremor runs through him. “At least then I would know… I— Sometimes when I dream—” He shivers, and Tony’s stomach does an unpleasant little flip as he tries not to theorize about whether or not Steve would be able to subconsciously remember whatever SHIELD had done to him.

He has to remind himself to take in his own breaths as Steve flicks his eyes up to him for a moment and grits his teeth. “They didn’t even _ask_ ,” he says forlornly. “They didn’t— I didn’t know they were going to do that. They didn’t _tell_ me that they would do that if I got hurt, and they wouldn’t even tell me what exactly they had done, and I just—” He jerks his gaze away as his throat flexes. “I thought… I was dying,” he says again, his voice thin. “And then I got resurrected, again, for the _second_ time, and everyone seemed to think that I would be _happy_ about it, like I just couldn’t wait to jump back in and get to fighting again.”

His jaw works for a second and he clenches his fists. “And it wasn’t _fair_ ,” he bursts out finally, glancing up at Tony with a sudden fire in his eyes. “I had already _done_ that. And then I’d died _again_ , and they wouldn’t even _let me go_ , and I couldn’t stop thinking that they might just, never let me go. That they would just resurrect me over and over again and I just—”

His voice squeezes off and he clenches his jaw as he swallows heavily, his hand once again beginning to press against his leg. For his part, Tony is distinctly aware that the Captain’s discussion of his death raises a few red flags, but SHIELD’s actions seem to bowl those over in comparison. He tries to imagine how he would have felt if he’d woken up like Steve, to find he’d been experimented on and brought back to life without his consent, and he suddenly finds Steve’s avoidance of Fury’s calls _very_ reasonable.

“They all seemed kind of annoyed that I was mad at them,” Steve continues, suddenly sounding exhausted as he slumps into the couch. “They didn’t seem to get why I was pissed off.” He shrugs, his eyes back on the TV. “They offered me a counsellor after a while, but I said no because I was mad and didn’t feel like being psychoanalysed at the moment.” He shakes his head and huffs out a strained laugh. “’Course, they wouldn’t leave me alone either.”

He looks back at Tony, seeming to want to get everything out into the open now that he’s started talking. “I don’t know if they thought I was really stupid, or if they thought they were really clever…” he starts. “But when I finally was allowed to go back to my apartment… the whole thing was bugged.” Tony’s eyes widen and Steve swallows, looking down at his hand on his leg. “I mean, they _taught_ me how to look for bugs,” he says. “And then somehow they expected me not to find theirs?” He shakes his head disbelievingly and takes in a breath.

“It wouldn’t have been so bad if they had at least _told_ me,” he says, glancing up at Tony again, something lost in his eyes. “But they didn’t. And then after I took out all the stupid mics and swept my whole place twice—" He presses his lips together and glances away. “Well… one day I came back, and someone had come in and replaced them all.”

He shudders and Tony swallows down a wave of nausea, his mind flashing back instantly to when Fury had broken into his house. He’d spent the next two weeks afterwards upgrading JARVIS and making sure that nothing like that could ever happen again because— because it’s _violating_ to have someone break into your space— ah, and now he’s thinking back to when he had broken into Steve’s room. His intentions had been good, but he definitely understands now why they had blown up in his face.

“After that, I had to get out,” Steve says, drawing his attention back to him. He casts Tony a glance and offers him a tight half-smile. “I’d been staying with SHIELD since I woke up,” he says dryly. “I had money now, at least, but I didn’t have anywhere to go.”

 _Except here_ , Tony thinks, his eyes wide, suddenly glad that he had happened to offer the Tower to the Captain all those months ago. “You ran away from SHIELD,” he says out loud, and Steve actually barks out a short laugh at that.

“That’s one way to put it, I guess,” he says, his shoulders relaxing incrementally before he shrugs and lets out a sigh, glancing down. “They obviously tracked me here though,” he says, tapping his finger against his leg. “Since they know where to call.”

Tony finds himself scowling and he shifts, causing Steve to look up at him. “Well they can suck it,” he says forcefully, leaning forward slightly at Steve’s amused expression. “I mean it,” he says sternly. “What they did was _way_ out of line. You don’t owe them anything.”

A genuine look of surprise seems to flicker over Steve’s face at his words, which only serves to feed Tony’s growing ire at SHIELD, and his next words don’t help much. “You know,” he says, shifting a little and huffing out a breath. “I think you’re the first person to say that to me.” Tony has to swallow back a wave of fury at that, and he forces himself to stay quiet as Steve looks down, flexing his hands for a moment and staring at them. “I mean, I get it, I guess,” he says. “I should use what the serum gave me to help people, and—”

“Ah, no,” Tony cuts in, unable to help himself anymore as he raises a finger and Steve looks over at him. “First of all, that’s a load of bull,” he says, catching Steve’s eye and holding it. “Also, use your ears, because I just said you don’t owe SHIELD anything, and you don’t owe anyone _else_ anything either.” He puts his hand down. “Who _cares_ if you got given a super awesome serum. You’re still allowed to live your life. And—” He raises his finger again. “ _Even if_ getting the serum somehow obligated you to serve out the rest of your days as a public servant or something…” He raises an eyebrow at him. “You’ve already done that, pal. Twice in fact. So I think you’re good now.” 

Steve’s mouth twitches up for a second, and he looks away as he thinks over Tony’s words, his hands still in his lap. “I…” He lets out a deep sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “I guess… I just don’t really know what else to do,” he admits after awhile. “Fighting is kind of the only thing I’m good at now.”

Tony’s chest does _not_ appreciate how tight Steve’s words make it feel, and he swallows thickly, trying to steady himself. “Yeah well,” he manages finally. “You can do whatever you want. And you have your whole life to figure it out now.” He sucks in a breath and nods sharply at him. “And you can stay here for as long as you want.”

oOo

Steve’s story leaves him more rattled than he’d been expecting, and he can’t stop thinking about it over the next few days. He supposes, on some level, he can understand why SHIELD would want to preserve its best defenders… but the way they had handled everything… and how they had just seemed to expect Steve to be fine with it…

“You know,” he muses to JARVIS, as he sits in his lab, his mind too preoccupied to be productive. “Given Steve’s history with SHIELD’s bugs… I guess it’s pretty amazing that he stuck around here, even if he didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

JARVIS is silent and Tony narrows his eyes, his hands stilling on the screwdriver he had been fiddling with. “I imagine…” he says slowly. “That you and Steve probably had to come to an understanding on your own terms.”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that, Sir,” JARVIS says, which is basically a confirmation in and of itself, since it is a very careful preservation of Steve’s privacy, and also not a lie.

Tony huffs. “Well, I guess I can understand why he was so concerned about that stuff now,” he says. “As long as he can trust you, then I can deal with cryptic answers.”

JARVIS sounds a little too smug as he answers. “Indeed, Sir.”

Tony doesn’t ask JARVIS how often Fury calls Steve, because he’s pretty sure he won’t answer, and he doesn’t ask Steve about it, because he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to talk about it. But judging from the amount of times that he’d managed to be there when Fury had called in, it probably happens regularly, which ticks him off a little.

He’s sure to tell JARVIS to tell Steve that he can block calls entirely (if he hadn’t already done so), but there isn’t much he can actually _do_ about it. No matter how he feels, the whole thing with Fury is ultimately up to Steve, and Tony will have to respect what he decides to do.

They are, at least, still talking to each other, which, he has to admit, he had been a little worried about. He wouldn’t put it past Steve to avoid him after their heavy conversation, and honestly, he’s not sure exactly what he would do about it, if he were to do that. Thankfully though, Steve doesn’t seem intent on avoiding him after everything. He actually seems to look a little relieved the next time Tony stops by to invite him to a movie, and he accepts easily.

“ _This_ story you might not know,” Tony tells him as they make their way to the elevator. “It’s called _One Hundred and One Dalmatians_.”

Tony orders lunch for them after their most recent binge, which means he gets them a large collection of fast foods. He’s now determined to not only feed Steve, but to catch him up on whatever SHIELD had seen fit to ignore, and JARVIS tells him that most fast food diners had been founded after the 50s.

Steve seems to enjoy the food, although he tells him that it’s much saltier than he is used to (and also he can apparently taste preservatives because of the serum? Tony cannot even imagine what that would be like.) They work their way steadily through the haul – Steve eating the lion share – while Tony goes off on explaining to him the unforeseen consequences of _One Hundred and One Dalmatians_. “Apparently, after the movie a lot of people wanted to adopt those types of dogs,” he tells him, waving a fry around. “Except, dalmatians are actually kind of a difficult breed to train, and are not for the amateur dog owner—"

He has to admit, he only _just_ holds back a cry of frustration when JARVIS speaks up. “Captain Rogers,” he says, and Tony rolls his eyes, resigning himself to hear about Fury’s call _once again_. He only hopes that this time Steve can refrain from turning into a human statue, now that they’ve talked about it a little.

Across from him, Steve opens his mouth, probably ready to decline the call again… except JARVIS continues. “Director Fury is waiting in the lobby,” he says, and Steve freezes. “He is requesting an audience.”

All of the blood drains from Steve’s face, so fast that for a second Tony is actually concerned that he might pass out, and he finds himself sitting up, a spark of righteous anger (and perhaps overprotectiveness) flaring up in his chest. “I can get rid of him,” he says quickly, the words flying out of his mouth and his hands pressing down onto the counter as he stares intently at Steve. “He won’t get past JARVIS, _that’s_ for sure,” he promises vehemently. “And I can get security to drag him out of here. You don’t have to talk to him.”

In front of him, Steve sucks in a breath, his fingers whitening in their grip on the counter as he gives his head a shake, blinking a few times before looking up at Tony. He’s still pale, and his hand shakes slightly as he runs it through his hair, but he’s gathered himself slightly, and his eyes now have a determined sheen to them. “No,” he says finally, his shoulders squaring as he sets his jaw and settles into his choice. He shakes his head again. “Avoiding him isn’t working,” he says, his eyes on Tony. “I’d rather hear him now, than worry about him finding some _other_ way of contacting me.”

Personally, Tony thinks that SHIELD can stand to _back off_ a little, but Steve has a familiar stubbornness in his eyes, and he knows there will be no changing his mind now. Even so, something in Steve seems to flicker for a moment, and he shifts, suddenly a little uncertain. “I wouldn’t mind… if you stayed though,” he says, something vulnerable behind the solid stare he gives him.

“Good,” Tony says flatly, folding his arms in front of himself. “Because I wasn’t planning on leaving.” His words manage to send of flash of amusement over Steve’s face, and he holds onto that triumph as he moves on to telling JARVIS to let Fury up. As they wait, he watches Steve out of the corner of his eye, and he can’t help thinking that he seems to be carefully shifting back into the stiff, closed-off man that he had been when he had first arrived at the Tower.

His original behaviour makes a little more sense now.

Fury can probably sense the tension in the air as he steps out of the elevator, his distinctive black trench coat swirling around his legs and a beige folder tucked under one arm. He steps forward and stops a few feet away from the kitchen counter, seeming to recognise that he isn’t welcome any further. They sit in silence as his one eye flicks up to rove over Steve for a moment and he dips his head slightly. “It's good to see you, Captain,” he says, his voice low.

Steve nods stiffly back at him, his jaw working for a moment before he responds. “Did you need something? Sir?”

Fury flicks his eyes over to Tony for a moment, and Tony doesn’t bother hiding his glare as he continues to sit with his arms folded. Steve might feel the need to feign some form of politeness, but Tony has no such urge.

“I do,” Fury says, looking back at Steve. “But maybe not in the way you might think.” His eye flicks down for a moment and he shifts his stance before meeting Steve’s gaze again. “I’m not here to take you back to SHIELD, Captain,” he says, which is good, because if the file in Fury’s arms had been holding _any_ sort of mission in it, then Tony would have thrown him out of the Tower, no matter what Steve wanted.

In front of them, Fury shakes his head as he continues to speak. “I know right now you probably don’t think very highly of us, Captain,” he says, his eyes on Steve. “SHIELD… was created in order to protect people,” he says, Steve’s expression completely neutral as he listens. “And, I’d like to believe that SHIELD works for the best interests of the planet and for global security…” Fury’s mouth quirks downwards and he glances over Steve. “But sometimes… the individual is lost in the grand scheme of things,” he admits, “and we make mistakes.”

Tony has to bite back a snort at that, because global security or not, it seems pretty obvious to _him_ that subjecting someone to medical procedures without their consent is a fairly recognisable mistake. Despite how he feels about it though, a part of him _does_ hope that Fury’s semi-apology somehow helps Steve out a little, even if he doubts that SHIELD would have admitted any wrongdoing if Steve hadn’t kicked up a fuss in the first place.

He’s distracted from his bitter musings as Fury shifts and takes out the file from under his arm, walking forward to hand it over. Tony watches him with narrowed eyes the whole way, and he places it on the end of the counter nearest to him, the cover marked with the words **T.A.H.I.T.I. Project** , and a red **CLASSIFIED** stamp **.** “This,” Fury taps the folder once, before stepping back, “is a file for the procedure that was used on you.” Steve’s eyes widen at that, his gaze darting down to the file and back up again as he sits stiffly, his expression tight and closed off.

In front of him, Fury sticks his hands into his coat pockets, his stance square as he looks at Steve. “Besides giving you that, I also came to tell you that there was a reason that SHIELD was monitoring you.” Steve’s jaw clenches at his words and Tony finds his glare multiplying in intensity as he stares down Fury.

If Fury is disturbed by their hostility, he doesn’t show it, continuing in the same even tone as before. “In the file, you will find a list of potential side-effects from the T.A.H.I.T.I. project,” he says, and Tony feels his blood run cold. “Erasing the procedure seems to help mitigate those effects,” he continues mildly. “And we were hoping that your serum would help as well, but…” He pauses for a second to flick his eye over Steve. “We had to be sure.”

Steve’s expression twists for a half-second before he looks down at the file again and grits his teeth, his eyes darting back up to Fury. “What kind of side-effects?” He asks, his tone cold and dead (and something in Tony rises up and hisses in outrage at the fact that SHIELD hadn’t told him about this until _now_ ).

Fury’s jaw tightens at his question, and he shifts slightly, almost as if he were uncomfortable. “Past subjects… have been known to display signs of mental distress,” he admits slowly. “There have been signs of hypergraphia, aphasia, catatonia, and… psychosis,” he says finally, and Tony practically chokes at the list.

“What’s _wrong_ with you?” he bursts out, unable to hold himself back any longer. Both Steve and Fury turn to him at his outburst, and his teeth grind together as he narrows his eyes at Fury and works on ignoring the scars on his chest that suddenly seem to burn. “You can’t just experiment on people without telling them,” he snaps out. “ _Especially_ when you can spit off a list of side-effects like _that_.”

Fury’s lips press together before his eyes flick to Steve and back. “The later tests with T.A.H.I.T.I. had been successful,” he says, as if that matters. “And at the time we felt the risk—”

“I don’t _care_ ,” Tony cuts in, his hands clenching into fist on his arms. “I don’t care if the stupid thing wasn’t dangerous anymore— which, by the way, you don’t seem to think so— and I don’t care if doing it would have saved the planet six times over. It was still _wrong_.” His eyes flash and he raises his chin. “So you can take your poor excuses and non-existent apology and _get out of my Tower_.”

He’s slightly out of breath by the time he finishes, and he watches with satisfaction as Fury glances once between him and Steve, before he gives them each a final nod and turns away, his trench coat swishing behind him as he moves. JARVIS opens the elevator pointedly as he approaches – if such a thing is possible – and he pauses for a second before stepping in, glancing back to the kitchen. “For what it’s worth, Captain,” he says quietly. “I am sorry.”

He leaves after that, and Tony has to fight to keep himself from muttering angerly under his breath and going into full rant mode. He has _plenty_ to say, but he doesn’t think that that’s what Steve needs right now. The man himself looks pale and shaken from the whole encounter, and Tony already knows that they probably won’t be eating much more of the takeout he had bought.

“If you want to forget about it for a little while, we can watch another movie,” he says, referencing the file that Steve can’t seem to take his eyes off of. “And if you don’t want to read it, you can have JARVIS scan it. I do that all the time, and then have him do the whole ‘good news’ ‘bad news’ kind of deal.”

Steve seems to shake himself out of his haze as he speaks, and he breathes in, blinking rapidly a few times as he looks over at him. “I think… I think I just need to get it over with,” he says tiredly, his eyes sliding over to the file again. “I won’t be able to stop thinking about it if I don’t.”

Tony nods mutely and watches quietly as Steve stands up and clears his place – because even after getting a bombshell dropped on him, he still can't seem to leave dirty dishes out – before making his way over to the file. His mouth purses slightly in distaste as he grabs it, but he has a steely glint in his eyes as he does so, clutching it in his arms carefully as he goes to head back to his room.

oOo

Steve never does tell him what is in the file that Fury gave him. Tony doesn’t blame him, since he doubts he would do any different, and despite how his morbid curiosity wonders at the issue, he doesn’t ask. Instead he and Steve continue to work their way through various movies and fast food options, and Steve seems to settle in, now that he knows something about what was done to him and Fury stops calling.

Tony isn’t sure how much of Steve’s _other_ issues are being resolves— since he’s very careful to respect Steve’s privacy and all— but he gets the impression that _something_ must be healing or improving, when he walks into the common room one day, and finds Steve sitting at the kitchen counter.

He actually stops in his tracks at the sight, because he's pretty sure it’s the first time he’s seen Steve outside of his rooms without being invited first. Steve raises his head at his arrival, and his mouth flickers up at him, before he looks back down at what Tony realises is a sketchbook, his hand gliding over it gracefully as he looks critically at an apple on the counter in front of him with a bite out of it.

Never did he think that a half-eaten apple could make him feel so many things at once. Judith would probably be proud of him. “Trying to give Picasso a run for his money, are we?” he quips as he restarts on his path to the coffee machine and smiles as Steve lets out a huff behind him.

“Maybe,” he says, as Tony reaches for a mug. “I was thinking of… maybe going back to school.” Tony glances back at him, unable to hide the surprised, but excited smile that drops onto his face at the news.

“Hey, that’s great,” he says, setting the mug down, his chest suddenly almost bursting with how light it feels.

Steve’s eyes crinkle as he smiles at his reaction, and Tony sincerely hopes that JARVIS is smart enough to take a picture of the moment. “Yeah,” he says softly, before shifting a little in his chair. “I mean, if aliens invade again, I’ll probably help out–” Tony lets out a snort at the wording, and Steve’s mouth quirks up. “–but for now, I think this is fine.” He shrugs, going back to his sketch. “SHIELD has my shield anyway so… it’s not like I can go off and fight the forces of evil by myself.”

Tony blinks a little at the dry sarcasm and gives his head a shake, reaching for his mug again and moving to prepare the coffee machine. “I didn’t _think_ I saw the thing with you when you arrived,” he says as he waits for the coffee to finish pouring into his mug.

“Well, apparently it’s government property,” Steve says dryly behind him, and Tony feels a slow smile grow over his face.

He’d been looking for something to get back at SHIELD with, nothing drastic of course, but just the proper amount of petty to satisfy himself with, and this… “Actually,” he says cheerfully, reaching for his mug and turning around. “I’m pretty sure the shield is _Howard’s,_ cuz, you know, he made it and everything.” He shrugs, unable to keep the grin off of his face. “They can try to hang onto it but… while SHIELD may be good, I guarantee Pepper is _better_. She’ll dig up _some_ legal clause that’ll force their hand, just you wait.”

Steve blinks at him, before another small smile flickers over his face, and he ducks his head to look back towards his apple. “And then we’ll use it as what, a frisbee?” he asks, a distinctive note of amusement in his voice.

“Well, now we _have_ to,” Tony says, his mind already spinning with the possibilities. Next to him, Steve laughs, his shoulders completely relaxed as he draws.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we know what's up with Steve!  
> I've never seen Agents of SHIELD, but I did once look up how Coulson survived, and then one day I came across a gif set where Fury is telling Coulson "It was a "break glass in case of emergency" situation." And then Coulson says "Yes, but that emergency was supposed to be the fall of an Avenger."  
>    
> And let me tell you, I did NOT appreciate those implications. My brain basically went 'That would be TERRIBLE', and... now we have Tony trying to clean up SHIELD's mess.
> 
> For this fic, I didn't want Fury to be completely unsympathetic, but I do think that he and SHIELD did act in character for this. They didn't even tell Coulson what they did to him at first, and Fury has proven that he's a "needs of the many" kind of guy... and that kind of blew up in his face.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr:[16woodsequ](https://16woodsequ.tumblr.com/)


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